This is me. ( Photo credit: Jade Chang)

I look a little bitchy. I'm totally not! (Photo credit: Jade Chang)

Now for the excruciating part.  My bio. I can’t think of anything worse than writing a bio (okay, not entirely true.  I can think of loads worse: Heartbreak. Cancer. Root canal.). Here is the bare-bones bio that appears on my jacket flap:

Lauren Strasnick grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut, now lives in Los Angeles, and is a graduate of Emerson College and the California Institute of the Arts (CalArts) MFA Writing Program.  NOTHING LIKE YOU is her first book.

Simple, right?! Dignified! Let’s stop there. What follows is an alternative bio of sorts. Me: a collage.

8th-grade-bio

Love of sports?! Lies!

Letter to Israeli pen pal Hani.  Why do I have this still?  Why?!

Letter to my Israeli pen pal Hani. Why wasn't this sent? Why?!

Connecticut

Connecticut

California

California

I love cats!

I love cats!

Here I am assaulting my brother.

Here I am trying to smother my brother.

I have no clue who these folks are, but I found them years ago in my parent's photo collection & i love them.

I have no clue who these folks are, but I found them years ago in my parent's photo collection & I love them.

mom & dad

Mom & Dad

my mum

My mom

Bliss

Bliss ("Apple Picking" - Painting by Stina Sunesson, 1976)